Dear Diary
by flowacat
Summary: Ryousuke and Kawasumi stumble upon a diary in a clearing behind the school. Wait - what - it belongs to Suiren?
1. Chapter 1

_Dear diary,_

_Today I reached out for Kawasumi-kun when he dropped me off. My heart beats so loudly when he is beside me. I wish he would stay. How can I make him stay? When he says goodbye and turns away I can't help but reach out. If only he would turn back, he might understand. How much I want to be next to him. Closer than the span of our hands apart, close enough that he might –_

"Suiren!"

A pink head shot up, eyes darting frantically around the clearing. Seeing no one, Suiren exhaled her relief and gently folded her notebook closed, tucking it into the foliage behind her.

Brushing the fallen leaves from her lap, Shibazeki Suiren stood and tiptoed across the clearing, waiting for Aya to pass before exiting her sanctuary. Perhaps it was selfish, but she wanted this place to be her secret.

"Sui-reeeeen"

Stepping quickly out of the brush, Suiren approached her friend from behind.

"Suiren! There you are!" Aya moved to her good friend's side and linked arms.

"Were you writing again?" She teased, pulling an errant leaf from the taller girl's hair "I wonder where your journal is hiding now that we are in high school…"

Suiren looked at her friend anxiously, holding up her hands in protest.

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. I remember what happened in middle school"

Aya's smile faded as she pulled her quiet friend along. She remembered all too well the horror on gentle Suiren's face as her journal was held high above her head, dangled in the fingers of the worst bully from their middle school. It was the beginning of her beautiful friend's retreat into silence.

"I just wish you would keep it at home! Surely they would never raid your bedroom?" Aya peered into the other girl's face. Suiren mutely shook her head back and forth, eyes dark and unreadable.

"Oh well, it can't be helped. Just try to make sure no one finds it okay? None of us want to see you hurt again."

Suiren blushed at Aya's concern, walking placidly beside her friend back into the main building just as the bell signaling the end of lunch period tolled. Thankfully the next class was nearby, or they would risk being late.

_I wish Kawasumi-kun was in my class, _Suiren mused.

Despite her shy attempts to bridge the gap between them, the situation between Kawasumi and herself had reached a stalemate.

When meeting in the halls, they would greet each other politely and move on. On the walk home Suiren would hold Kawasumi's hand to force him to walk closer to her, inevitably leaving them both too flustered to talk. Upon reaching her home, Kawasumi would bow before quickly turning and dashing off, leaving Suiren staring longingly after him.

Deep in thought, Suiren missed Aya's departure into the washroom.

As she rounded a corner, something came barreling past and knocked Suiren off balance, forcing her bodily into the nearest wall.

"Takane-chan! Are you okay? I can't believe those first years, running around so violently…Good thing Kawasumi was here to break your fall!"

Suiren started at the name and looked around.

She saw only Ryousuke, who was grinning foolishly and pointing to something in front of her.

_The … Wall?_

Suiren followed his finger and looked up into a very handsome, very flustered face.

"A-a-re you okay?" Kawasumi stuttered, trying to ignore how she felt pressed up against him, fingers entangled in his shirt. His arms had gone around her as she collided, and he was afraid to let her go for fear that she would fall.

The slightly glazed expression in her eyes made Kawasumi want to kiss-

Kawasumi blushed an even more vibrant red and stiffened straight, just as Suiren disentangled herself from his clothing and tried to step backwards.

Instinctually, Kawasumi tightened his hold, drawing her closer to his chest. Suiren's eyes widened.

"S-S-SSS…SORRY" Kawasumi yelled, dropping his arms and jumping backwards quickly as if she was made of hot coals.

Kawasumi's felt tightness in his chest as he took in the sight of the somewhat flustered girl in front of him.

Unaware of his inner turmoil, Suiren blushed and shook her head for what seemed the hundredth time that day.

"No, Th… thank...you" She whispered, looking into his eyes shyly.

Kawasumi started from his reverie and looked around frantically for an escape; at this rate he was sure to assault her further!

"I – class is starting. I'll see YOULATERBYE"

Kawasumi grabbed his friend and quickly dragged him away.

_He must… Really not want to touch me._

Suiren frowned at the unhappy thought and walked into her next class.

* * *

Kawasumi tried in vain to shake thoughts of Shibazeki Suiren from his head by attacking his sparring partner vigorously.

_She looked like she was going to cry. Did I say something – did that idiotic first year hurt her …!_

Kawasumi's eyes darkened and he delivered a violent kick to Ryousuke, who staggered backwards and fell.

"Jeese, man, lighten up! What's gotten into you today?"

Kawasumi sighed and ran his hand through his damp hair.

"Did she look upset?" He suddenly said, grabbing a towel from the ground and wiping his drenched face with it.

Ryousuke snorted and rolled his eyes,

"Well, yeah, of course she did. You practically threw her away from you"

Kawasumi blushed and frantically tried to explain,

"No! I nearly assaulted her in public! I had to run away, it was so embarrassing! It had nothing to do with her!"

Ryousuke shook his head and slapped his hopeless friend on the back.

"You are so clueless about girls"

Kawasumi hung his head and groaned.

"Let's go outside, it's too hot in here anyway. I'll explain some things about girls to you…"

Ryousuke laughed and dragged his moping friend through the sliding wooden doors that lead to the school's outdoor area, surrounded on all sides by dense trees.

The cool air was refreshing and imminently preferable to the stifling heat of the dojo. A strong wind occasionally gusted across the clearing, the red sky above promising a stormy night.

Ryousuke strolled beside his friend and tried to explain,

"Girls are on a totally different wavelength okay. You gotta watch all the things you do, 'cause they can take them to mean completely different things."

"But then, how do I do that? I don't know what she thinks!"

Ryousuke shook his head and chuckled,

"You just figure out how girls think, like I do, you know…" He flashed a grin, "…and it probably would help if you didn't throw her away from you when she only bumped into you on accident." He said dryly.

Just then, a loud crashing noise and what sounded like yelping came from the bushes not far from the students. Both darted their heads towards the sound, then looked at each other. Kawasumi held up his hand showing four fingers. Ryousuke shook his head and held up his own hand – showing three.

They nodded at each other before racing off toward the source of the commotion.

This was a private code the boys had created as children after being bullied in school.

A single finger meant "It's safe". Two fingers meant "It's not safe". Three meant "let's do it together"; while four was "get reinforcements." Five fingers was rarely used as it meant, "I can handle this alone".

Breaking past the bushes, the boys stumbled into the middle of a clearing. Frightened by the intruders, two foxes playing nearby let out high pitched yelps and scampered into the underbrush. The boys laughed and looked at each other, showing their hands with one finger raised.

"Well, this is interesting" Ryousuke whistled as he looked around, noticing how the clearing formed a perfect circle.

Kawasumi hummed his agreement and got up from the ground, brushing the broken branches and leaves from his gi. One of the branches had broken off and gotten stuck in his sleeve.

"Great," he sighed, and removed the stick, throwing it into the bushes a bit more violently then he intended.

Jarred from the impact, a notebook fell out of the bushes and slid towards the boys.

"A book? I wonder what that's doing here." Ryousuke reached the book first, checking the front and back but finding both blank.

"Let me see." Kawasumi plucked the notebook and opened to the first page,

"Shibazeki Suiren's diary – AAGGGH!" Kawasumi suddenly dropped the book.

"Diary. It's her diary. What do I do?" He took a few steps back from the fallen journal as if it would suddenly spring up and attack him.

Ryousuke gaped and stared at the book, then suddenly shouted,

"AH HA! This is perfect! You can find out what she is thinking!"

Ryousuke practically danced with excitement, but Kawasumi shook his head vehemently,

"NO!" He yelled, making an X with his arms.

Ryousuke pouted and glanced at the diary,

"Oh come on. Don't they normally keep these kinds of things in bedrooms? I bet it's an old one. She probably doesn't even remember she put it here. I'm sure it's safe to read, actually!"

Becoming excited, Ryousuke grabbed the book from the ground and flipped to a random page, while reading aloud,

"…If only he would turn back, he might understand. How much I want to be next to him- Hey!"

Kawasumi, as red as a tomato, grabbed the book and slammed it shut.

"No more. It's private. Let's go." He shoved the diary back into the bushes.

"Yeah, yeah, fine." Ryousuke sighed and exited the clearing.

Kawasumi followed his friend, but not before pausing and looking at the spot where he shoved the journal, a smile slowly forming on his face.

_So… that's what she wants._

* * *

The first ever Hibi Chouchou fanfiction! I am completely obsessed with this manga.

Please review if you enjoyed this, I have already written the next four chapters, and would love to upload them.

Gi - Karate training uniform


	2. Chapter 2

Kawasumi Kouha absently twirled his pencil around his fingers, lost in thought.

_She wants to be closer to me. _

He half smiled and imagined the scenario for the hundredth time that day – Suiren's look of sadness as he turned away. The shock and joy on her face as he stopped and looked back over his shoulder.

_"Should I stay?"_ _He would whisper, keeping his body facing the street, the path away from her._

_"….yes" He would hear, before smirking and turning towards her, approaching her quietly so as not to startle. Her small hand would reach up and grasp his jacket._

_"Yes?" She would repeat questioningly, looking up at him with eyes clouded by tears, cheeks stained with redness._

_"Yes" He would confirm, grasping her shoulders and drawing her closer, into the circle of his arms. She would stiffen slightly – perhaps afraid of this sudden contact – but his arms would come up faster than she could retreat, locking her against his chest._

_*_RRRINNGGGGG*

Kawasumi jumped in his seat as the bell for 'go home' or club period rang. His pulse quickened as he realized it was only an hour away – walking Suiren home.

Shaking the thoughts from his head, Kawasumi exhaled harshly and gathered his supplies.

How was he going to make it through Karate?

* * *

Suiren's eyes darted to the clock hanging on the wall of the café. 6:10. Soon he would come for her, as he always did, and take her home, as he always did.

Even after weeks of this – she was still anxious. The thought of him so close to her, so close and yet so far away, sent thrills of excitement down her spine. One day – one day when she was a little less scared – she might even work up the courage to touch more than just his hand.

Redness slowly snuck up Suiren's neck as she imagined it, eyes locked on the table in front of her.

*CHING CHING*

The door opened and a tall, light haired boy entered, somewhat out of breath. His gaze swept over the tables, before settling on Suiren. He approached her, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"Let's go." He said, darting a glance at Suiren, who smiled shyly and nodded.

As the couple walked down the dimly lit street, a cold wind surrounded them; causing Suiren to hunch her shoulders, shivering.

Kawasumi noticed and moved closer to the chilled girl, forming a wind barrier with his body. Their hands were planted firmly in their pockets, but Suiren knew she need only reach out to him and he would reciprocate, warming her palm with his own.

But… today was different somehow. Perhaps it was the diary entry she had written earlier – bringing her emotions close to the surface. Whatever it was, Suiren couldn't work up the courage to move, to ask with her actions instead of her words. Depression settled around her like a heavy cloak as she realized they were moving backwards – not forwards – in their relationship.

Unaware of Suiren's depressing mood, Kawasumi was nervous. His heart pounded erratically as he waited for the moment he would begin his carefully constructed plan. He knew what she wanted, he had imagined every action down to the finest detail – his plan was perfect.

If there was one thing to be said for Kawasumi Kouha, it was that he was a perfectionist. Once he committed to something, he would work at it seriously.

As they reached Suiren's house, however, she did something unexpected – which threw his entire plan out the window.

"Thank you." She whispered, bowing before turning away from him and walking up the path to her house.

Kawasumi panicked – He tried to say 'stop', 'no' and 'wait' all at once – which resulted in a garbled,

"St – n - Wait!"

Suiren stopped, but didn't turn around. Thoughts raced through her mind.

_Did he – It's just like what I always – Does that mean–_

Trapped in thought, she stared straight ahead as Kawasumi drew closer. His hand on her shoulder shocked Suiren enough that she jumped to face him.

Kawasumi's eyes widened as he realized how close they were. His courage fleeing, wind sneaking its way down his coat and making him shiver, he blurted out the first thought that came to mind,

"Are you cold?"

Suiren frowned and turned the question over in her mind, trying to figure out what he meant. Of course she was cold – it was quite chilly out. And she was nearly home now – warmth and security were only a few steps away. Why would he ask –?

Suddenly she landed on a meaning – probably not the one he intended, but she would take advantage of it anyway. Eyeing his heavy coat, Suiren inched closer to her boyfriend, her entre body leaning towards his warmth as she faked a shiver and pulled her hands close to her face.

"V…very" She stammered, as if her teeth were chattering. Suiren was pleased with her performance.

Kawasumi blinked rapidly, trying to figure out what was wrong with Suiren's balance. She could barely stand; she was leaning so heavily towards him that he thought she might -

His thoughts skidded to a halt as he realized what she wanted.

Before his mind could rebel, his traitorous arms reached out and gently surrounded Suiren's small frame. Trembling legs took a step forward as he drew her slowly towards him.

"I-I'll warm… you" He stammered.

Trying to ignore the pounding of his heart in his ears and the heat in his face, Kawasumi gently rubbed warmth into his girlfriend's back.

The pressure of this caused Suiren to tumble forward – perched precariously on the tips of her toes as she was. Grasping onto the coat of the boy in front of her, Suiren regained her balance by stepping forward, bringing her body flush against him.

_Happy_

Suiren thought, as she leaned the side of her head against Kawasumi's chest.

_I am so happy_

She felt … Protected. Loved. Safe.

The feelings coursed through her entire body, causing her heart to pound uncontrollably.

Suiren tried to memorize the feeling of him – the warmth permeating from his chest, the strength of the arms surrounding her, the freshly washed smell of his clothes.

Her face flushed, Suiren closed her eyes and unabashedly breathed in his scent. The first thing that came to her was a dull soapy smell she assumed was his shampoo. Underneath it was the subtle muskiness of sweat. But the most fascinating thing was a dark, earthy scent that reminded her of a forest.

"I want to stay… like this… forever," Suiren whispered to herself, not realizing she was speaking aloud.

Kawasumi blushed harder upon hearing those words, averted his eyes and settled his mouth in an upside down u.

"We can do this. Again. Sometimes. I mean – If you want"

Suiren began to smile at the thought, but then stopped and remembered her faltering courage earlier, her inability to reach for him.

Kawasumi swallowed and tried to still the trembling of his arms, but the feel of her– the smell of her– It was becoming too much for his self-control.

Suiren knew the moment was nearly over, as Kawasumi was shaking and his voice had taken on that embarrassed quality she recognized as a precursor to him running away.

Taking a last deep breath of him, Suiren released herself and slowly backed away. Kawasumi let her go, feeling a strange mixture of relief and loss. Regardless, he was grateful that she had ended the embrace – any longer and he knew he would have done something careless.

The quiet girl looked at the ground and whispered,

"How…"

Suiren paused, but Kawasumi waited patiently. He knew she would express herself given enough time. Sure enough, she continued.

"How can… I tell you….when I want…"

Suiren faltered and raised her hands to her face, hiding her intense embarrassment.

_How can I ever ask for his affection if I can't even talk to him? _

Kawasumi suddenly understood, and smiled at the bashful girl. Reaching towards her, he took her hand gently in his own and folded her three middle fingers down, leaving her pinky and thumb outstretched.

"When… you want – that –" Kawasumi coughed and looked away, taking a deep breath and rallying his strength.

"Make this dog-ears sign, and – and hold it up. When I see that, I'll know –"

Suiren looked up at him and smiled, one of her beautiful, soul touching smiles.

The breath caught in Kawasumi's throat as he stared at her – gods she was beautiful. How in the world was he so lucky? His heart clenched happily at the reminder that she was _his_, he had claimed her in front of his peers. This beautiful angel was entirely his to cherish and protect.

Suiren averted her eyes as she raised an unsteady hand, showing the dog-ears.

He blinked, not sure if she meant what he thought she meant – or if she was only practicing.

"Like… like this?" Suiren stammered.

Touched by her courage and knowing how much his gentle girlfriend struggled to communicate with him, Kawasumi quickly reached out and placed his hand on her head, drawing her near him once again.

"Che. Y-yeah. Like that" He responded.

Suiren felt like her heart had grown wings. Not only once, but _twice_ had he reached out and touched her!

Suddenly, a bright light flickered on from the house behind them and a voice called out,

"Suiren! Are you out there?"

The bashful teens immediately jumped apart from each other and turned away.

"Good… night." Suiren whispered, before turning and dashing into her house, leaving a dumbfounded Kawasumi staring at an empty spot in her wake.

"I love you." He whispered, belatedly realizing she had retreated. Blushing and looking around frantically to make sure no one had witnessed the spectacle, Kawasumi shoved his hands into his pockets and quickly walked away, before he could do something stupid like go after her.

* * *

I decided to continue posting these, rather then wait for reviews. The view count is enough for me to be happy.

Writing is rather therapeutic, I haven't done this in years...


	3. Chapter 3

_"I love you," a rough voice whispered into her ear, as she was pressed tightly against a broad chest._

_Suiren sagged bonelessly into the embrace, wrapping her arms around the boy who was holding her. Chest burning with emotion, she heard her heart pounding in her ears._

_Suiren closed her eyes and buried her nose into the rough white fabric of Kawasumi's gi. His earthy scent surrounded her, relaxing her further._

_A hand left her back and pressed Suiren's face gently into the curve of Kawasumi's neck. Tenderly caressing her hair, the boy chuckled and turned his cheek to press against hers - _

*BEEP BEEP BEEP *

Suiren was jolted out of her dream by the beeping of her alarm clock, which she now hated more than anything else in the world.

Pressing the snooze button, Suiren fell back onto her bed and hugged her pillow against her chest.

"Yesterday wasn't… a dream" She whispered, before smiling and jumping out of bed.

* * *

_Her softness pressed against his hardness, her smell suffused his senses. Suiren wrapped her arms around his neck and gently pressed her lips to his, trembling slightly._

_Kawasumi took what she offered and more, crushing her against him. His mouth slanted against hers, she let out a moan that went straight through him –_

*BZZZZZZZZ *

Kawasumi opened his eyes in shock, breathing heavily. The effects of the dream were still with him, and he felt warmth in his boxers. Closing his eyes, he sighed and pulled his pillow over his face.

"I can't believe I had that kind of dream about her," he groaned as he remembered every detail from his dream. Her soft lips – the scent of her shampoo… A twitch below reminded him he had to clean up before anyone else woke up.

Jumping out of bed, he realized he had not been this excited to go to school in years.

After leaving his house, Kawasumi wondered if he would see Suiren during the day. He had to make sure not to react too much, or she might misunderstand. Ryousuke had given him his first "girl lessons" after karate the previous day.

_"Okay – after a big relationship milestone, like kissing her for the first time…" Ryousuke leered at his friend, who blushed and punched him in the shoulder. _

_"…Hehhe. You have to make sure that the next time you see her; you act only a little bit embarrassed. If you run away or overreact, she might think you regret what you did"_

_Kawasumi gaped and shouted,_

_"Regret!? Why would I ever regret doing anything to __Shibazeki-san?!"_

_Ryousuke shook his head and sighed, _

_"Sometimes girls just don't make sense. Also, you should not be calling her '__Shibazeki-san'." _

_Kawasumi blinked and tilted his head to the side,_

_"What should I call her then? __Shibazeki-chan?"_

_Ryousuke groaned and shook his head,_

_"Come on man! No! Like, 'sweetie' or 'honey' or…." Seeing that his friend was becoming increasingly embarrassed, he added in, "At the very least, call her 'Suiren'"_

Kawasumi mused over that. Perhaps it was time to call her by her given name? He couldn't help but imagine Suiren calling his given name…

_"Good morning…. Kouha"_

Kawasumi stopped and exhaled, waiting for his heart to return to normal. If even thinking about it affected him that much – what would calling her 'Suiren' do?

Kawasumi frowned and wondered how he could figure out what she was thinking –

_"…If only he would turn back, he might understand. How much I want to be next to him-"_

Unbidden, the memory of Ryousuke reading the diary came to him. He shook his head and was angry at himself for even considering it. But… it was so effective last time…

Kawasumi struggled with the moral complications – to read her diary and know exactly what she wanted, or respect her privacy and possibly ruin their relationship by doing something stupid –

"No! I WON'T lose her!" He suddenly shouted, then turned bright red.

_Maybe… just once more. To make sure she is happy._

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_Yesterday was the happiest day of my life. Kawasumi hugged me. I can't stop thinking about it; I hope he holds me again soon. If I was brave I would embrace him myself, just walk into his arms and lay my head on his chest. Do all boys smell so good?_

Suiren blushed as she remembered brazenly burying his nose in Kawasumi's clothes. She continued to write,

_If only he would stop calling me '__Shibazeki-san'. Not even my classmates call me that…_

Suiren sighed and put her notebook back in the bushes. Even if Kawasumi-kun was still calling her by her formal name, he was trying. She was happy he was trying.

Brushing the dirt from her skirt, the high school girl happily walked out of the bushes and hummed as she made her way back to class.

* * *

Kawasumi crept out of the dojo and darted across the school yard. He felt like a burglar. Hiding along the tree line, he snuck towards where he thought the clearing was.

It took ten minutes of crashing through bushes, but eventually Kawasumi tumbled into Suiren's sanctuary, and sighed in relief.

However… There was still the hardest part left.

Swallowing his fear, Kawasumi reached into the bush that he had shoved Suiren's diary into, immediately finding the notebook.

He brought the dreaded/desired item in front of his face and worked up his courage… And opened it!

The page read…

_Dear Diary,_

_I hate it here. If I talk or smile everyone make such a fuss. Only when I am quiet am I left alone. Is this what it will be like forever? I wish – _

Kawasumi stopped reading as he realized this was a much older entry. He burned with anger for Suiren, forced to endure unwanted attention for so long.

"Not anymore. Now I am here to protect her"He said gruffly, before turning to the newest entry. He smiled and blushed as he read the line 'happiest day of my life' but then frowned at the last note.

_So she does want me to call her Suiren…_

Kawasumi made a fist and nodded determinedly. As much as he regretted violating her privacy, this diary was a window into her life, a precious resource to be used from now on ONLY when he ABSOLUTELY needed it.

* * *

"Suiren? Suiren!"

Yumi waved a hand in front of her spaced-out friend's face, but it was no use. She was completely trapped in her fantasy.

Yumi giggled and glanced sideways at Aya, who was watching her bemusedly.

"I bet she is thinking about hiii-mmmm" Yumi said in a sing-song voice

Aya rolled her eyes and glanced at Suiren, who certainly did look very happy.

"Oi, Kawasumi!" Aya suddenly said, and laughed as Suiren immediately broke from her trance and whipped her head around.

Yumi squealed and hugged Suiren in her desk,

"Mutual love! How I love it!"

Suiren blushed and mutely accepted the attention. She couldn't stop thinking of him. Him and the sign…

Forming her hand into the dog-ears, Suiren pressed her hand against her chest and smiled.

Yumi and Aya gasped at her expression.

"I can't remember the last time I saw her smile like that" Aya mused, eyes softening as she observed her friend's happiness.

Yumi glanced at Aya's warm expression and then at Suiren's blissful face. A troubled frown soon formed on her face as she considered the implications…

Yumi shook the thoughts from her head and replaced her frown with a bright smile – surely Aya was just protective of Suiren. After all, she had protected her for years in school – and now there was someone else to do that!

But still… Yumi would keep a close eye on the situation.

* * *

"KAWASUMI! Get your head out of the clouds and give me 200 push-ups!"

Kawasumi jolted from his thoughts and stiffened straight, yelling,

"OSU!"

Before assuming his position and beginning the punishment. He blushed as he realized he had been thinking of Suiren, again.

The repetitive exercise helped focus his mind, and Kawasumi carefully packaged all his feelings for Suiren into a small ball and pushed them to the back of his mind for later.

Ryousuke, standing next to Kawasumi, snickered as he watched the play of emotions of Kawasumi's face. While training, he was perfectly transparent – it was very easy to tell exactly what he was thinking.

"So, how did it go?" Ryousuke said quietly, while he continued to follow the instructor's punching drill.

Finishing his push-ups, Kawasumi stood and glanced at his friend briefly before shaking his head.

"Later," Was his gruff reply.

Ryousuke grinned as he watched a flush spread across the taller boy's face.

* * *

"And then I showed her the dog-ears and said that if she ever wanted to… you know. To show me that"

Kawasumi awkwardly finished, sitting down outside the dojo with his sparring partner and romance assistant.

The love doctor in question wailed his misfortune,

"Lucky! I want a girlfriend toooo!"

Sighing, Ryousuke flanced at his fortunate friend.

"So, then, you remember not to be embarrassed?"

Kawasumi nodded quickly and averted his eyes, mumbling something.

Ryousuke moved closer to his friend, holding his hand near his ear,

"Eh? What's that?"

Kawasumi shook his head and said louder,

"She – wants me to call her by her first name"

Ryousuke raised his eyebrows and leaned back,

"Well – yeah – you are probably right. But how do you know that?"

Kawasumi's face could not possibly get any brighter.

Ryousuke gaped at his friend,

"THE DIARY?" He yelled

Kawasumi frantically shushed his friend, but nodded in the affirmative.

Ryousuke laughed cheerfully and shook his head,

"Oh man, this is perfect. Well, you know exactly what to do then! Wait – what time is it?"

He looked back into the clock on the dojo wall.

"It's 6:10! Go find her!"

Kawasumi looked up and sputtered,

"But… it's not Wednesday–"

Ryousuke groaned and shoved Kawasumi back into the dojo.

"It doesn't matter! After something like that – she's waiting. I promise you, now hurry!"

* * *

Suiren didn't know why she was waiting.

_It's not Wednesday. But maybe…_

She sighed and glanced at the clock in the café for the hundredth time. 6:15.

*CHING CHING CHING CHING*

The door slammed open as a tall light haired boy flew into the café.

Breathing heavily, he quickly spotted Suiren before heaving a giant sigh.

"Thank goodness"

Suiren blushed, her eyes wide and full of wonder.

_He… he came_

She quietly approached her boyfriend and looked into his eyes questioningly.

Kawasumi looked away and held out his hand,

"I thought… you might be waiting"

Suiren slowly took the hand offered to her and followed the tall boy as he led her out of the café.

_Wait… I want to try._

Stopping, she pulled her hand from Kawasumi's and waited as he turned around and stared at her, asking the question with his expression rather than his words – as he sometimes did.

Suiren slowly raised her hand with a determined look in her face. But then – as if she was pricked by a needle, she deflated and looked down, tears pricking at the corner of her eyes.

_I can't even… do this..._

Kawasumi smiled crookedly as he realized what Suiren was trying to do. Before his embarrassment could kick in, he stepped closer and raised his hand in front of him with pinky and thumb outstretched in the dog-ears position.

Suiren's eyes widened as she took in the sign, and she looked at her boyfriend's face for confirmation. The tender look in his eyes was her undoing – Suiren summoned the last of her courage and bridged the space between them with a step, burying her face in Kawasumi's jacket, hands pressed to her sides.

The boy in question blushed and looked away, but placed a hand on his girlfriend's head, smoothing it down to the nape of her neck.

Her expression from only moments ago flashed into his mind, and Kawasumi smiled, pressing his cheek to Suiren's head.

"…Dummy. I won't ever reject you... Suiren"

Suiren could only nod through her tears.

* * *

Someone let me know if this is more "M" then "T".


	4. Chapter 4

"The Edo period, under the rule of the Tokugawa shogunate, was characterized by economic growth, strict social order and what, Shibazeki-san?"

The class fell silent as the seconds passed, with no answer coming from the pink-haired girl who was currently gazing out the window.

"Shibazeki-san? Shibazeki-san! SUIREN!"

The Japanese history teacher was at the end of her leash, resorting to shouting at the normally polite and reserved student.

Suiren jumped and looked around, redness slowly creeping up her neck as she noticed the eyes upon her.

Aya, sitting behind Suiren for this class, sighed and decided not to help. Honestly, her friend was spacing off more often than usual lately – she needed the reprimand.

"Suiren! Once again… Under the rule of the Tokugawa shogunate we see a period characterized by economic growth, strict social order and… …"

The teacher, frowning slightly, waved her hand in a circular motion.

Suiren looked down at her desk and weakly muttered,

"Environmental… policies?"

The teacher smiled and nodded,

"Yes! Now this period came to an end…"

As the teacher continued on with her lecture on the Edo period, Aya ground her teeth together in frustration, watching her childhood friend fall right back into her daydream. Lately it had been Kawasumi this, Kawasumi that, as if he was the center of the universe. Without a doubt, he was the cause of her distraction in this case.

The slightly pink tinge on Suiren's cheeks as she let out a gentle sigh proved Aya's suspicion. Only one particular boy provoked that response – a tall, blond, and admittedly handsome student that happened to be Suiren's boyfriend.

Aya felt herself burn with jealousy. Her emotions warred within her as she fought to rationalize the anger, to come up with something, _anything_ to blame Kawasumi with.

_He can't protect her as well as I can. I have been protecting her since we were kids._

Aya nodded to herself and remembered the look on Suiren's mother's face as she entrusted the small child into her care. Aya had never felt so grown up in her life, being given this important duty – protecting Suiren was all she knew. If not for that…what was she to do?

* * *

He couldn't stop thinking about the diary. It was wrong, he KNEW it was wrong, but it was so tempting…

Kawasumi shook his head violently and shoved the thoughts to the back of his mind. He was in class now, and that meant focus. His parents expected that much of him – what kind of son would he be if he got failing marks because he couldn't concentrate in class?

"PSST!"

Kawasumi and glanced to his right to see his friend pointing at something in front of him. Frowning, he looked down to see a folded piece of paper hanging precariously from the edge of the desk. Knowing Ryousuke, he would not stop bothering him until the note was read.

Glancing quickly at the teacher and seeing her back was turned, focused on writing equations on the blackboard, Kawasumi palmed the note and brought it below the sight level of the desk. Quickly unfolding it, Kawasumi nearly groaned as he read the message.

_Kiss her yet?_

He darted a glare at Ryousuke, who snickered and raised his eyebrows up and down in a suggestive manner. Kawasumi flushed and averted his eyes, shaking his head slightly.

Ryousuke pantomimed an exaggerated groan before grinning and turning back to the lecture.

_Kissing…her… _

Kawasumi felt his brain melt as he considered it. While the intimate act had been appearing with disturbing regularity in his dreams lately, he wasn't sure if he was prepared to act it out in reality. He felt himself grow excited at the thought of Suiren pressed intimately against him, her soft lips just begging to be –

*BRRRINNNNG*

Kawasumi exhaled harshly as he stood up from his desk, carefully adjusting his blazer to cover certain parts of him that liked the thought of kissing Suiren a little _too_ much.

* * *

"Soooooo… how's the LOVE progress?"

Yuri said as the three girls sat outside eating lunch. It was a rare girls-only day as their male friends were busy with lunchtime activities.

Suiren felt her cheeks warm as she smiled and told her best friends,

"He… always seems to know. Exactly… what I… am feeling"

Suiren held up her hand in the dog-ears position and told the girls about it.

"SO ADORABLE!"

Yuri squealed, hugging her friend tightly.

Aya clenched her hands, breaking her chopsticks in half. Before the other girls could notice, she quickly discarded them and brought out a second pair. Since Suiren had started dating, she had learned to always bring extra chop sticks.

"Have you kissed yet?" Yuri whispered, causing Suiren to turn a bright red.

Her pink head shook back and forth.

"Ohh! Bummer! You make sure to tell us when he does, okay!"

Yuri giggled and patted Suiren on the head.

_Kissing… It might be… okay._

Suiren closed her eyes and imagined him leaning in, his hot breath against her face, his strong hands gently caressing her…

"Oh! Suiren fainted! I guess I took it a little too far…"

Yuri laughed as she fanned Suiren's bright red face with a notebook.

Aya dropped her chopsticks before she broke them again.

* * *

_Dear Diary,_

_I can't stop thinking about him. I even got in trouble in history for daydreaming about him. _

_Yuri asked about kissing. What is kissing like? _

_I like being close to him. I feel so safe when he holds me, but it's not enough…_

_I'm hopeless. I can't even talk to him properly. _

Suiren paused in her writing as her vision clouded with tears. Looking up to the sky through the branches of the canopy above her, Suiren closed her eyes and released the tears to slide down her face.

*CRASH*

As Kawasumi came crashing in through the bushes, Suiren dropped her diary and stared at her boyfriend in shock.

Halfway through the bushes, Kawasumi noticed a presence in the clearing and made an attempt to stop, digging his feet into the ground without noticing a large root in his path.

The resulting trip sent the normally composed karate student sprawling into the clearing and onto his knees, mere inches from Suiren.

The two teens stared at each other, at a loss for words. That is – until Kawasumi noticed the redness of Suiren's eyes and reached out, brushing the tear tracks from her face with his thumb.

"What's… wrong?"

The concerned boy whispered, instinctually crawling closer to hover over her protectively.

Suiren's thoughts vanished as she gazed up at her boyfriend, the gentle concern in his eyes tugging at her heart. She blushed as she became conscious of the fact that he was completely surrounding her.

Without realizing it, she stared at his mouth, desperately wishing she had the courage to press her lips against his.

_I can never… do what I want…_

Frustrated tears gathered in Suiren's eyes once again, causing Kawasumi to panic. Unsure of what to do, he resorted to what his mother used to do to calm him down as a child.

Carefully sitting down beside her with his back against a tree, Kawasmi gathered the small girl in his arms and deposited her in his lap. Wrapping his arms around her small frame, the concerned boy drew her closer, resting his chin on top of her head.

"Please…Don't… don't cry. I don't know what to do…"

Kawasumi whispered, his voice wavering slightly.

Suiren shook her head and tried to hide her tears from him, fisting her hands against her face.

"Don't… look…" She said, though it came out slightly garbled due to her plugged nose.

Kawasumi frowned, thoughts running through his head a mile a minute. One part of him, the shy part, was screaming that she was _TOO CLOSE._ The larger part, stemming from his strong protective urges towards the girl, insisted he shelter her; protect her from whatever it was causing her distress.

The latter part won out, and Kawasumi juggled Suiren in his lap to better position her within the security of his embrace.

_How do they do this in the movies?_

Suiren ended up facing Kawasumi in a kneeling position, straddling his outstretched legs. Wrapping his arms around her once again, Kawasumi smiled and gave a satisfied sigh.

The jostling finally broke Suiren from her internal self-deprecating mood.

"Kawasumi…kun?"

Suiren whispered,

"Hm?"

Kawasmi responded, drowsy and content with the warm bundle of girl carefully tucked against him. He glanced down and froze as he realized how close their faces were.

"How… did you find me?"

Panic. He had been on his way to read the diary, to try find out what Suiren wanted… But he couldn't say that. What could he say – that he heard her crying? She was always so quiet, that would not work…

His mind went in Suiren circles and landed on an out.

Leaning over, he captured her lips and the question was instantly whisked from Suiren's mind.

* * *

A tad shorter than normal, but my hands are killing me from typing so much ;P

The reviews I have had so far encouraged me to pick this up again - review, it really does make me write faster!

Also if you find any spelling mistakes let me know and I'll fix them. I try to review as best I can but some still sneak through.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

_Is this heaven?_

Suiren's eyes fluttered closed as she felt a jolt of electricity at the first touch of Kawasumi's mouth upon her own. Tingles surged through her body and left her trembling. Strong arms tugged her closer and she obligingly melted into Kawasumi's embrace. For the first time in longer then she could remember Suiren felt her anxieties slip away as an overwhelming sense of protection and security enveloped her.

Meanwhile, having completely forgotten to close his eyes, Kawasumi stared in fascination at the expressions flickering across Suiren's face. Shock had been first, as her entire body stiffened against the sudden onslaught of his kiss. To his relief, it had lasted only a few seconds before she had surrendered and relaxed against his body in a way that Kawasumi wished he could memorize. She fit perfectly in his embrace, her softness tantalizingly pressed against his…

Kawasumi suppressed a moan and tightened his arms, falling deeper into passion. Warning bells went off in his mind and he begrudgingly ended the kiss, pulling back by only the slightest of margins.

Suiren cried out quietly in complaint, feeling the loss of his touch like something violently torn from her. Kawasumi's eyes widened and he let out a shuddering breath against her lips before claiming them once again. The compulsion to reassure her was so strong that he could no more stop himself then he could stop breathing. This time, however, Kawasumi kept an iron grip on his desire. He lingered on her lips for only a moment before pulling back. Once again, Suiren frowned and whimpered. Growling low in his throat, Kawasumi continued to press chaste kisses to his girlfriend's lips.

Finally, after what seemed to the young couple like hours but was in reality only a few minutes, Suiren came out of her daze and slowly opened her eyes. Kawasumi gazed at her cautiously, flushed and panting.

_I kissed her. I kissed her without her consent. What if -_

The young man began to panic but managed to slam the door on his thoughts as a stronger part of his personality took over.

_I did what I did to protect her. It is my duty as her boyfriend, as a man._

The black belt closed his eyes and steeled his nerves, waiting for Suiren to scream or slap him. He knew he should probably release her, but she still looked too vulnerable for his protective instincts to allow it.

As Suiren floated back to reality, she became aware of the state of her body. Her skin felt hot and overly sensitive, her lips slightly bruised and tender.

_He… kissed me. He kissed me… over and over. _

Suiren looked down at her lap as all the blood in her body raced to her face. Kawasumi watched this reaction with dread, slowly forcing his arms to unlock from around her body, creating an escape route if she felt the need to flee. As his arms fell away, Suiren felt her anxieties come racing back, filling her mind with fear and doubt.

"No!" She shouted as she dove into Kawasumi's embrace, wrapping her arms around him tightly. The fear and doubt slowly began to recede as Suiren cuddled against her boyfriend like a giant stuffed animal.

Kawasumi blinked rapidly, frozen in confusion. He had expected fear, crying, or for her to run from him. At best he had imagined her pulling from him and demanding to know why he had stolen her lips. This reaction – this desperate need for reassurance and physical affection – completely shocked him and pulled forth his protective side once again.

Wrapping his arms around the shivering bundle of girl attached to his waist, Kawasumi gently rubbed her back and muttered soothing words,

"Hey… It's okay… I am not going anywhere. You can… I will stay like this for as long… as long as you need me to."

Gradually, Suiren stilled and Kawasumi realized she had fallen asleep. Smiling to himself, he pulled her close for an instant and buried his face in her pale pink hair, breathing in her scent. Lilac and vanilla, the smell he had come to associate her with, filled his senses. Kawasumi felt the protective urges settle and felt an enormous sense of satisfaction at his ability to calm his girlfriend.

Sighing, he adjusted in his arms and rose, she would be expected home shortly, and he did not want her to get in trouble. Her weight was slight compared to the bags of rice he was used to carrying for training, so the short walk to her house would prove no trouble at all.

* * *

Short chapter because I felt this deserved its own!

Also I felt super bad for leaving you guys with a cliffie.

I'll be writing more tomorrow and a new chapter will be up soon so don't worry :)


	6. Chapter 6

Ami Miamoko shook her long black hair and laughed cruelly at the first year cowering before her.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you want this?"

She dangled the soda can in front of the girl's face tauntingly.

The first year shook her head violently and tried to scamper away, but was blocked as two senior girls sauntered across the path.

"Oh, Sakura-chan, you are just _so_ nice!" One of the seniors crooned.

Ami narrowed her eyes dangerously,

"Fumiko, why don't you help _dear Sakura_ up. We only have one drink,"

Ami tossed the can into the air, catching it deftly as it fell.

"And there are three of us"

Fumiko smiled cruelly and nodded at Ami, grabbing the arm of the now terrified student before them.

"I – I – don't have any more money!"

Sakura cried, as Fumiko roughly forced her to her feet.

The other senior, who had remained quiet up to this point, glided over and placed her arm around Sakura's shoulders.

"Next time then" The dark haired girl purred, tightening her arm and drawing the younger girl's face close to her own.

"You wouldn't want to get on my bad side now, would you?"

She whispered, malice glinting in her eyes.

"N-n-n-no! Tomorrow, I promise!" Sakura pleaded, whipping her head back and forth to look at all three girls.

Ami nodded and gestured to her cronies with one hand as she turned and walked away.

"Tomorrow it is. Fumiko, Sayano, let's go."

As the three bullies left to find more victims, Sakura hastily gathered her things and fled in the opposite direction.

* * *

Aya was nearing the end of her patience. Three days had passed, three days of longing sighs, daydreaming and distracted apologies.

Even now as Yuri told the group about her plans to go to the beach, Suiren was completely lost in her own world. It was all _his_ fault, Aya set her eyes on Kawasumi, who was alternatively darting glances at her friend and blushing. Suiren didn't need Aya anymore, because Kawasumi had taken her away. What right did he have?

Aya frowned and realized no one was listening to poor Yuri.

"…So we should go soon! What do you think, Suiren?"

Yuri's smile slowly faded as the silence grew.

"Suiren?"

Yuri repeated, a feeling of foreboding creeping up on her as she noticed Aya's stormy expression.

Finally, Suiren blinked and replied,

"Sorry Yuri-chan, think about what?"

Yuri shook her head and laughed,

"Oh – no worries! It's nothing."

Nervously, she tried to figure out a topic to lighten the mood.

"So – ah – what are you going to do over the break?"

Suiren blushed and looked down at her lap,

"Maybe...a date..."

Kawasumi coughed and said,

"I guess… The amusement park?"

Yuri sat up straighter,

"I love the amusement park! We can all go together!"

Her bright smile faltered as she realized Suiren was not smiling, but looking away.

"If… if it's okay with you two, of course"

Suiren avoided her gaze, muttering,

"Ah … with Kawasumi-kun…"

Aya jumped to her feet, lunch box and chopsticks clattering to the ground.

"You have friends too!"

The usually calm girl said angrily, staring at Suiren.

"Not everything is about dating!"

Aya stormed off as Yuri frantically tried to think of a way to dissolve the tension in the air. Suiren stared at Aya's retreating form in confusion, tears forming in her eyes.

"Aya-chan… what…"

She scampered to her feet and raced after Aya as fast as she could, although Suiren had never been a fast runner. Kawasumi and Ryousuke looked at each other in confusion, as Yuri paced back and forth.

"Ohhh… no no no! This isn't how it's supposed to go!"

Yuri shook her head and bit her thumb in thought.

Slowly, Kawasumi got to his feet and tried to figure out if this was the kind of thing a boyfriend should help with, or if it was one of those "girl things". He looked his question at Ryousuke.

The black haired boy shoved his rice ball into his mouth and raised his hand, waggling two fingers.

Kawasumi nodded and accepted the sign ("It's not safe") to mean this was something he would be wise to keep out of.

Suiren panted as she raced through the halls of the school, trying to catch a glimpse of her missing friend.

_Did I … go too far? Did I neglect them… my friends?_

Suiren recalled the past few days and realized she couldn't remember many instances of talking to Aya or Yuri. Thoughts of Kawasumi-kun and the kisses they had shared were foremost in her mind, and she struggled to think of anything else.

_Aya-chan, I am so sorry! I am a bad friend._

Suiren sniffed back her tears as she threw open the door to the women's washroom, hearing a faint muffled sound coming from one of the stalls in the back.

"Aya-chan… please… come out…"

Suiren called quietly,

The last stall door opened and Aya approached her friend, arms crossed and face wet with tears.

"I'm… I'm not sorry"

Aya said, looking at the ground stubbornly.

"He took you away from us."

She looked at Suiren and pleaded for her to understand with her eyes,

"I don't know what to do. If I am not your protector…"

Suiren embraced her friend and set her chin on Aya's shoulder.

"I will always… need you. You're… my best friend."

Suiren whispered, as Aya broke down and sobbed into her hair.

After some time had passed, the girls pulled apart and exited the washroom, hand in hand.

* * *

Sakura was terrified. She hadn't been able to find any money, and now Ami and her horrible gang were after her. Quickly but quietly walking down the halls to avoid notice, Sakura suddenly remembered the field behind the school. Students rarely ventured there at lunch due to its distance from most of the usual afternoon classes.

Sending a silent prayer to any higher power that was feeling generous, she found an exit and slipped out. The wind brushed against her skin and Sakura shivered, realizing another reason why no one came out here – it wasn't exactly nice outside!

Spying the tree-line not too far in the distance, the nervous first year scanned the field before sprinting for freedom.

Half way across the field her heart dropped to her feet as she heard the tell-tale laughter of Ami and her friends. Whipping her head around she saw them in the distance, leisurely following her knowing she had nowhere to go.

Sakura stifled a sob and doubled her efforts – maybe there was somewhere in the woods she could hide? Missing school was the least of her worries at the moment – she had seen what Sayano, one of Ami's cronies, was capable of. Another first year had been sent to the infirmary after refusing to bow for her!

Without realizing it, Sakura made it to the trees and tried to stop. The wet grass offered no purchase, and she went flying into the trees head first. The branches whipped against her face, and Sakura cried out in pain as she crashed through the brush and into a small clearing.

Shaking herself off and looking around in confusion, Sakura gasped as she took in the beauty of the surrounding area. It was almost if this place had been groomed as a private paradise. The grass was soft and surprisingly dry, the sky overhead bright and blue. Small batches of flowers grew near the edges of the clearing, and nearby … there was a book.

Sakura's thoughts were interrupted by the sight of a black shape, what looked to be a notebook, lying in the grass not far from her. Curiosity overpowering caution, she reached out and grabbed the book, pulling open the front cover. Her mouth dropped open as she realized what the mysterious item was.

"Saku-raaaaa! Come out, come out, wherever you are and play with us!"

The bullies began to catcall as they searched the woods for their plaything. The girl in question looked around frantically for a hiding place, before her eyes once again fell upon… the notebook.

She couldn't. And yet… Ami and her gang were notoriously easy to distract. It had become common knowledge that offering them food was an easy way to avoid being picked on.

Sakura shook the thought from her mind; it was just too cruel to Suiren-chan, who she knew was the gentlest, nicest girl in school. This would crush her.

Sighing and placing the notebook back on the ground, the girl stood and once again looked for a hiding place.

"Leaving so soon?"

Ami stepped into the clearing, followed by Sayano and Fumiko.

"This place is so neat! Imagine what we can do here… Out of sight of everyone…"

Sakura began to tremble as the three older girls surrounded her. Looking down, she spotted the notebook once again and apologized in her mind to Suiren.

"I f-found… something better for you to p-play with"

Sakura whispered, pointing at the book.

Ami's eyes brightened as she picked up the object. Turning away from the group, she opened the front page and began to laugh.

"Oh, my, this is going to be ever so fun!"

* * *

Sorry if anyone saw this before I hastily edited it - the first publish went wrong somehow.

Thank you so much to my lovely reviewers: kawasumixryosuke, , BrandNewBlueShoes all the guests! I love you all!

My apologies if this seems slightly OOC - the impression I got from the manga was that although they are both shy, it is for different reasons. Suiren because of self confidence and Kawasumi because of a lack of experience with girls. By putting them in a setting where their other personality traits (i.e. protectiveness) override their shyness, I cheated to get in some romance early :P


	7. Chapter 7

"Suiren?"

The pink haired girl glanced up at her boyfriend as they walked home from school. Meeting his eyes, a flash of memory from their shared kiss struck her and she immediately looked down at her hands, twisting them together.

"A…ah?"

Kawasumi frowned and laid his hand on Suiren's shoulder, abruptly stopping her in her tracks. He watched as she turned slightly towards him and fidgeted, refusing to meet his eyes. She muttered words he did not catch, lowering her chin towards her chest and shaking her head slightly.

Something was clearly wrong, and Kawasumi was determined to get to the bottom of it.

"What's wrong? Why won't you look at me?" He demanded, an edge in his voice lending the question a more desperate tone.

Suiren shrank into herself and glanced up at Kawasumi from behind her bangs.

_Say something… say anything!_

She screamed at herself internally, but the words caught in her throat as her gaze went immediately to his lips. The memory came again – _his hot breath mingling with hers, his arms like bands of steel around her_.

Suiren's mouth opened as if to say something, but the words caught in her throat. Closing her eyes in frustration, she clenched her hands together.

_Why can't I ever tell -_

Before she could complete the thought, she felt Kawasumi's arms surround her as he bridged the space between them with a step. Tucking her close to his body, the quiet boy whispered,

"Let it go – relax"

Pressing her face into the soft fabric in front of her, the Suiren took a deep breath and willed her tears away. The frustration slowly drained from her, leaving behind a rare sense of serenity. Straightening, Suiren disentangled herself from her boyfriend's arms and shyly looked up at his face.

"It must be frustrating"

Kawasumi said, looking at Suiren with compassion. She nodded, her entire body seeming to slump in despair.

"We use… mediation in karate. It might help. I could – I could teach you."

Kawasumi blushed as Suiren perked up and looked at him in astonishment.

"You would be… my sensei?"

She smiled then giggled as Kawasumi's blush increased. Shaking his head at her amusement, the martial artist stepped closer and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Close your eyes" He commanded, and she instantly obliged.

"Take long, deep breaths" Kawasumi smiled as Suiren quickly fell into the proper mindset for meditation. He was impressed – it was not easy to slough off one's mental baggage. Certainly his first few tries at this had not been nearly as successful.

"Imagine your frustration as a dark cloud surrounding your body." He continued, keeping his voice even and quiet.

Suiren frowned and nodded, seeing in her mind's the form of herself covered with a black mist.

"Gather the mist into a ball. Will it into your hands"

The mist swirled and gathered in her palms, its darkness flickering with bright sparks. Suiren pulled every last breath of smoke from her body, concentrating on keeping it within the confines of her hands.

"Now close your hands. Visualize the ball shattering – falling away into a million pieces"

Suiren felt a sense of glee as she slammed her palms together, erasing the black ball from existence. She jumped as the physical noise of her hands coming together shook her out of the trance. Staring at her palms she realized the tension was gone.

"Amazing!"

Suiren gasped and looked up into Kawasumi's eyes, her face glowing with happiness.

"Thank you!"

Kawasumi blushed brightly at her smiling face and nodded, stepping back quickly.

"N-no problem"

He stuttered,

"Ah - We should go"

He reached out and took Suiren's hand, drawing her closer to him as he began walking again. Suiren felt only contentment as she gently swung their conjoined hands back and forth.

* * *

Walking into class the next morning, Aya and Yuri greeted their friend and remarked on her bright smile.

"Kawasumi-sensei taught me meditation"

Suiren smiled and thanked her boyfriend again in her mind; already she had used the technique twice. After living with frustration for so many years, the change was like the first ray of sunshine after a dark and stormy night.

Aya looked up as another student approached the three girls. She narrowed her eyes as she recognized the girl as a bully.

"Oh, Suiren-chan!"

The older student said with a cheerful smile plastered all over her face.

Suiren looked up and gave a small smile in return.

"Yes, sempai?"

Ami gestured with her hand and took a step towards the door of the classroom,

"Can I talk to you outside please?"

Suiren nodded and made to follow the taller girl. Ami watched the two leave, her eyes narrowing to slits.

* * *

Outside the classroom, Suiren found herself herded into a corner.

"Oh, Suiren-chan, I have a big problem that I need your help with!"

Ami pleaded, her words dripping with honey.

Suiren blinked,

"How… can I help?"

The senior student grinned maliciously, and pinned her arms on either side of flustered Suiren.

"I need a slave."

She whispered, staring deep into the now terrified student's eyes.

"Or perhaps you would rather have this …"

She held up her hand, now holding an item that caused her victim's face to go completely white.

"... Copied and distributed to everyone in the school. We wouldn't want …."

Suiren crumpled to the ground and missed the rest of Ami's rant. The sound of static drowned out all other noise as the bully finally gave up and walked away, holding the diary protectively in her hands.

_Again… It's going to happen again_.

Suiren spiraled into darkness, her fear consuming rational thought.

_No! I won't… I can't… Not again!_

Hyperventilating, she stood and shakily made her way to a supply closet – only a few steps away. Sliding down into a corner, she wrapped her arms around her legs in a fetal position.

_It's never going to stop_.

Silent tears fell from Suiren's eyes as she fell back into the memory.

_-Flashback-_

_"You might as well give up – Ken is mine. He would never like a scrawny girl like you anyway"_

_A tall student laughed and pushed Suiren into the mud, kicking her when she protested with a cry._

_"No one even likes you Suiren. That awful voice of yours gets on everyone's nerves!" _

_Suiren looked up in shock, the pain showing clearly on her face. Suiren was proud of her voice – as a soloist in the middle school choir she was often praised by teachers._

_Realizing this was a sore subject, the bully gleefully continued on,_

_"Everyone just pretends that you are good, it's all a big joke. We laugh at you when you aren't around. Even teachers do it."_

_Sobbing, the middle school student scrambled to her feet and ran as fast as she could – away from the cruelty of school._

_-END Flashback-_

Shaking her head free from the memory, Suiren shuddered and fought to keep the darkness from overwhelming her.

_"Gather the mist into a ball…"_

Kawasumi's voice pierced through the haze of fear, and shocked the girl from her thoughts. Remembering the meditation techniques, Suiren took deep breaths and visualized her body. The dark miasma that appeared around the form caused her to recoil in horror.

_It's too much! I can't…_

Suiren's grasp on her meditative state wavered, and she felt the darkness eagerly consume her once again. Letting out a cry, she slumped backwards… and into the solid chest of her sempai.

_Ka…Kawasumi-kun?_

Although not physically present, a glowing image of Kawasumi embraced her and chased the encroaching shadows away. Finally able to relax, Suiren came back into herself and felt marginally better. The fear was still preset, but not as crippling as it had been moments before. As her senses slowly returned, Suiren became aware that someone was calling her name.

"Suiren!? Where are you! SUIREN!"

Opening the door, she peeked out and saw Kawasumi's face before he turned the corner. Panic was written all over it. Feeling a twinge of guilt, Suiren quickly chased after her boyfriend – she owed him that much for saving her.

* * *

For some reason I had trouble with this one. Hopefully it gets easier - we are approaching the main conflict of the story.

I realize it is a bit meandering - I am tempted to go back and re-write a bunch of chapters.


End file.
